Crazy Father's Day, and all that

Father's Day is coming this weekend and we are going to be crazy and celebrate it on Saturday. Melissa is hosting a brunch and we are all going to show up and celebrate ME. But I resent such occasions and holidays. I will accept all the lavish gifts and I will let my children gush all over me but for me the celebration will be about them, my pride in them and how much I enjoy their company. Don't really need no day invented by Hallmark to have this, but I guess it is nice to be forced to take the time to think about fatherhood and what it all means.

I think it means different things to different people and it means different things in different directions at different times. It is a bond we all have as humans and we all have different bonds. And it is a different bond coming and going, and the bond and expectations change over time, in both real and opined ways. The real and the sub-real, how we want it in conscious state and what we wish for in unconscious ways. We have up-stream and down stream bonds and it can be the most wonderful connection and yet the most painful. It seems we figure it out and then confuse ourselves all over again.

I find it best to drop the bond and live the moment. Nice words with no true escape in either direction. My father simply was, and at times that worked and at times that caused pain, but my love was the most when I knew that he simply was and I am, and nothing would change what was. We are and we can; that is all there is.

And this year it starts again, new roles, new directions and more love and happiness.